NiftyWolfie

yer having the right time etc would help ... must have dyed her hair that day

Sorry summer's over, we cancelled it after 2 days due to the water shortage

Kitchen :evil (20):

not unless the Mr's hair fell on me !

she's used to blonde jokes by now !

honestly, everywhere I go your posting

not you ..... get back in the kitchen ffs

A blonde goes into a library and says, "Hello. I'm here to see the doctor." The librarian replies, "This is a library." So the blonde lowers her voice and says, "Oh sorry!" Then whispers, "I'm here to see the doctor."

Bloke meets a psychiatrist at a party and asks him how he measures if a person is insane or not. "Easy."says the psychiatrist. "I fill a bathtub with water and offer them the choice of a teaspoon, a cup or a bucket and ask them to empty the bath." "I see."says the party-goer. "Of course a sane person would choose the bucket." "No,"says psychiatrist. "A sane person would pull the plug. Now let's see when I can fit you in for a consultation."

Three pregnant women are waiting to see their doctor. The redhead says "I know I'm having a girl because I was on top when we conceived." The brunette says "Than I must be having a boy because I was on the bottom." At this point the blonde starts crying. When asked what's wrong she sobs "I think I'm going to have puppies!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look toward sky, what you see?" The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." "What that tell you?" asked Tonto. The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?" "You dumber than buffalo ****. Someone stole the tent!"

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a Double-Decker bus for a weekend gambling trip to Las Vegas. The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level. The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time. When one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. The Brunette asked, "What the heck is going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!" One of the Blonds looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered...... "YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!"

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.” The first man said.“You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife,” The agent replied “Then you’re not the right man for this job." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I just can’t kill my wife.” The agent replied, “You obviously don’t have what it takes. Get your wife and go home.” Finally, it was the woman’s turn and she was told that she had to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Seconds later shots rang out … one shot after another after another. Then they heard screaming, crashing and banging on the walls. After several minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, gasping for breath. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks ... I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

Starting at "A" lets begin with naming movies A = American Pie

A blonde walked into an electronics store and told the salesman, "I want that T.V." and she points to the display. He looks at her and tells her, "I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to sell that to blondes." So the blonde, all ticked off, walks out of the store. An hour later, she walks back into the same store with a black wig on. She walks up to the salesman and says, "I want to buy that T.V." and she points to the display. He looks at her and said, "I'm sorry, but I already told you we can't sell that to blondes." So she walks out of the store mad again without a T.V. A few weeks later she gets a makeover, new hair colour and everything, and she walks back into that electronics store. She walks up to the salesman and says, "I want to buy that T.V." and points to the display. The salesman shakes his head and tells her, "I told you twice already, I can't sell that to blondes." The blonde looks at him and says, "How do you know that I'm a blonde?" He looks at her and states, "Because, that's a microwave."

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the run from the law when they find an old barn to hide out in. The police are close on their tails, so when the women find three sacks, they immediately jump into them. About a minute later, a policeman comes into the barn and sees the suspicious-looking sacks. He kicks the first one. "Meow," says the redhead. "It must be a cat," thinks the policeman. He kicks the second sack. "Woof," says the brunette. "Must be a dog," thinks the policeman. He kicks the third sack. "Potatoes," says the blonde.

Carol and Donna were doing some carpentry work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away." Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"

I was on the forum ....

Yes it's that time again to start the daftest thing we do on the forum. Rules : FIVE Words is a must!

Rhino

Using the word given by the previous member, you need to crate a different word by altering just ONE letter. Your Choices to play are: Add one letter anywhere in the word Remove one letter anywhere in the word Change one letter anywhere in the word Rearrange the existing letters in the word If there are no more answers, start a fresh with a new word Try not to repeat words Have fun playing !

There was loads of jokes on the old forum, we deff need to find some good ones

Come on lets see those accounts being linked you can share items from the forum to facebook ..... get us more noticed which gets new members and stops me hassling ya !

If she joined she could post it herself lol